cow_babe (cow_babe) wrote in ntpersonality,

INTP relationship with INTJ. What can happen?

Hi all!
I'm new to this community but found it rather interesting as I get to relate to NTs alike.

I'm an INTP female. However, in the past when I tested myself, I used to be an ENFP.
Though I am dominantly INTP now, I still have an ENFP side of me. This includes being adventurous, extremely animated at times, social (when I want or need to) and very well-liked.

In certain situations I find my ENFP and INTP sides fighting for my attention. Confuses me at times, but I guess you can say I’m pretty balanced on both Idealist and Realist sides.

Currently, I am interested in a friend whom I know is an NT but not very sure which. I make a guess that he is an INTJ. He can’t be an ENTP because I already have a male friend who is one and I find him a total pushover sometimes. In fact, he is introverted and not much of an extrovert. He can be an INTP but he is more INTJ.

We’ve known each other for about 5 months now. When I first met him I thought he was arrogant, insensitive and overly-quiet. I think that was my ENFP side activated. But now, I feel we have a certain chemistry going on, he has opened up, and he is not that arrogant or insensitive person anymore. I know that he’s been interested in me for a very long time now and even more so now that he has been spending more and more time around me. I think he might have been seduced by my lively ENFP side then. However, I became impatient with him (he was slow in reacting and seemed emotion-less) and forgo the thought of pursuing him.

But now, seeing him be persistent with trying to get my attention for so long already and me understanding more about personality types and clicking quite well with him, I realize I do want him.

It’s funny, because our friends that are always around us have never suspected anything between us maybe because he and I are both iNtuitive and Thinking and do not find any need to outwardly express our interest in each other. We are taking the growth of our relationship rather slowly and calmly.

We have a few similarities:
1. We both love music. A wide-range of genres, that is. And we share our music sometimes.
2. We are both adventurous and have a love for the outdoors. As I type, he is white-water rafting in a state of a neighbouring country.
3. We are both keen observers. Being someone who can see through people well, I get freaked out sometimes because it’s as though he can see through me well too. In fact, he’s even observed me observing someone before and questioned me about it. I know he secretly watches me a lot.
4. We both need our alone times. I find him ruminating. I ruminate and likes to be alone too.
5. We do not like to touch or people touching us. As for me, I am touchy-feely sometimes but will only touch girl friends.
6. We are not the same race but I am learning his language and he knows a bit of my language. This makes conversations fun and amusing!

Being a task and future oriented person. I know that if I do not invest time in building a strong relationship now, I will not find the time or patience to start one when I start working later on. I’m a student of Environmental Engineering, btw and so is he. So I’d like to...

1. Hear your personal experiences of having an INTP-INTJ relationship.
2. Get advice on how to approach the relationship and make the best of it.
3. Know how to nurture a religion-less INTJ (he is a free-thinker) into believing in God and religion. My mother is an INTJ and she is religious. So I know INTJs can be religious)
4.What to expect as our relationship progresses to be a life-long one.

Thank you!
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